College. Is It a Safe Place?
As a parent on the verge of sending her first born to college, I feel anxious. Going to college has always been a non-negotiable requirement I set for my daughters, and besides, I keep telling them, it's fun: College is the best place for learning, for making new friends, for maturing and gaining independence, and for career development, all the while still being in a somewhat sheltered environment without financial pressure yet. As parents, we want to support our kids to embark on this great college experience to become intelligent people and to finish growing up away from us, the hovering parents.
And yet, news keep reaching us about college campus shootings, wild drinking parties, rape on college campuses, and I am uneasy. Has time changed that much from the days when I went to college and grad school in the 80's? Or am I just being overly protective as all parents are when their children go to college as they were prepared to do all their lives?
It is ironic that I always believed that my daughter would be going to a small liberal arts women's college like Wellesley College and never a football cultured university where the male jocks are placed on a pedestal. I wanted my daughter to receive the best education she can without intimidation from a male dominant culture. Yet when USC offered her more than half tuition in merit scholarship, and Wellesley offered her nothing, we started thinking about all the "positives" of a school such as USC: the professional schools such as Annenberg School of Communication, Business School, School of Cinematic Arts, Viterbi School of Engineering etc, all with courses not offered at Wellesley. While we are not poor, affording $70,000 per year for a private college education would be outrageously unwise. We changed our mind, and asked her to attend USC instead. Reluctantly, she agreed. We were relieved that she will be close by, less than 10 miles away from home.
While violence in college is always a potential, (I am aware about the Virginia Tech shootings, federal government investigation of rape and assault of women on the UCLA, Occidental, Harvard and USC campuses, and many more such news), yet the news about the recent Isla Vista shootings at UC Santa Barbara was so much more disturbing being so close to my daughter's time to attend college. I start to second guess our decision. Is a co-ed party culture safe? Will male students see female students only as targets to have sex with? Will frustrated loners and mentally ill students explode and go on a rampage targeting women, or anyone on campus? Are private schools safer than public schools? Will people from off campus get on campus to perpetrate crimes? I started to wish that we didn't have to think about money and are able to send her to a rural, and small all women's college after all.
Being at a quiet, all women's campus will be safer, right? After all, hardly any of the violent crimes are committed by women. Then I wonder whether being an all women's campus in itself creates a larger target for those misogynistic and frustrated individuals. All the over thinking just gets me scared and more uncertain. Should I have my daughter live at home and commute to college?
Is is too much for a parent to demand that our children be safe from the increasingly violent world of young people while in college?
And yet, news keep reaching us about college campus shootings, wild drinking parties, rape on college campuses, and I am uneasy. Has time changed that much from the days when I went to college and grad school in the 80's? Or am I just being overly protective as all parents are when their children go to college as they were prepared to do all their lives?
It is ironic that I always believed that my daughter would be going to a small liberal arts women's college like Wellesley College and never a football cultured university where the male jocks are placed on a pedestal. I wanted my daughter to receive the best education she can without intimidation from a male dominant culture. Yet when USC offered her more than half tuition in merit scholarship, and Wellesley offered her nothing, we started thinking about all the "positives" of a school such as USC: the professional schools such as Annenberg School of Communication, Business School, School of Cinematic Arts, Viterbi School of Engineering etc, all with courses not offered at Wellesley. While we are not poor, affording $70,000 per year for a private college education would be outrageously unwise. We changed our mind, and asked her to attend USC instead. Reluctantly, she agreed. We were relieved that she will be close by, less than 10 miles away from home.
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| Would this be the right choice? |
While violence in college is always a potential, (I am aware about the Virginia Tech shootings, federal government investigation of rape and assault of women on the UCLA, Occidental, Harvard and USC campuses, and many more such news), yet the news about the recent Isla Vista shootings at UC Santa Barbara was so much more disturbing being so close to my daughter's time to attend college. I start to second guess our decision. Is a co-ed party culture safe? Will male students see female students only as targets to have sex with? Will frustrated loners and mentally ill students explode and go on a rampage targeting women, or anyone on campus? Are private schools safer than public schools? Will people from off campus get on campus to perpetrate crimes? I started to wish that we didn't have to think about money and are able to send her to a rural, and small all women's college after all.
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| This shouldn't be what college looks like! |
Being at a quiet, all women's campus will be safer, right? After all, hardly any of the violent crimes are committed by women. Then I wonder whether being an all women's campus in itself creates a larger target for those misogynistic and frustrated individuals. All the over thinking just gets me scared and more uncertain. Should I have my daughter live at home and commute to college?
Is is too much for a parent to demand that our children be safe from the increasingly violent world of young people while in college?
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